Redefining Womanhood on My Terms | Women’s Month

I enjoyed doing the photoshoot for Northcon’s Women’s Month project because I got to sit on the famous make-up chair of Paolo San Juan, and I felt pretty (thanks, Paolo). Also, my husband, Moe, was the photographer, so that was cool (kudos to him because portraits aren’t really his forte). But I also felt a bit uncomfortable because I didn’t like the attention to myself. I’m used to being behind the camera doing all the edits – production. But I still did it. Why? Because I am the kind of woman that gets the job done. 

Before we move on, let me just thank a few people for this photo you see above. I would not normally pose this way, but thank you, Macky Benj, kaya ko pala (haha). Thank you also, Rae, for making me smile a lot! Also, I wouldn’t usually order sweet cream drinks (I’m a coffee person), but Photos and Mugs Cafe, who kindly allowed us to do a photo session, offered this Strawberry Cheesecake drink for Women’s Month – you should try it while they have it this March! Also, every corner of this place is truly Instagrammable. Check them out.

Now on to it.

On what science says is a “woman”

Physiologically, people say you can only be called a woman if you’ve given birth. I’ve been married for eight years now, and I don’t have kids.. yet. So, am I a woman? I would like to believe so. Because whether or not I do have kids, I am happy taking care of my husband, my three nieces, and my almost one-year-old beagle. But that doesn’t mean I don’t feel sad about it. 

For two or three years, having kids was the only thing I would think about, and I would cry about it at times. I would even ask myself, “Why, God, why?” But maybe God has a different direction for my life. Maybe not now. But I am a woman, and I can rise above this. We hope, we get hurt, but we rise. There’s just something in us that makes us push harder. 

On what being a “successful woman” means

When it comes to achievements, you are a “successful woman” only if you have a corporate job with a high position earning (hand gesture) this much. I finished college (it took me 7 years, yup..long story) and didn’t continue my master’s degree, but I did take the Kapisanan ng mga Brodkaster ng Pilipinas (KBP) exam and took my Manual Driving Test and passed both. Passing these two exams made me feel like I passed the board exam or got a Ph.D. in doing life.

Now, I work part-time as a Radio Jockey at a Baguio-based radio station and work online as a Social Media Manager, Content Strategist, and Copy Editor. 

Do I consider myself to be successful? Yes. 

Am I happy? Yes. 

Am I content? Yes. 

Am I open to more opportunities? Yes. Maybe. Maybe not. 

In any case, I believe that small successes are achievements. 

You just have to acknowledge them. 

Being successful for me means you love what you do, and you’re content with what you have, even if other people don’t understand it. 

On what being a “woman of power” means in society

When it comes to being a member of society, “women of power” means those with influence in their respective fields that people would remember their names and write about them. 

I love music. I play a few musical instruments. I’ve performed for a few audiences in the past, and my band and I even won an acoustic competition. Does anybody remember my name? No (maybe a few friends). Did anyone write about me? No. But I remember every moment and how it made me grow. I believe I am a woman of power because the moment I hold a guitar and sing, and people stop to watch, I know that somehow, I was able to speak to them on a different level. 

I’m not saying that women who have a master’s degree or Ph.D. or women who are CEOs and business owners aren’t examples of what being a successful or influential woman is about. The truth is that they pave the way for us to realize what we are capable of. But that doesn’t mean that if you do not become like them, that makes you less of a woman. No.

Let them inspire you to become the woman you are meant to be – maybe not a CEO, not a Gabriela Silang, not an Eva Zu Beck (a woman who inspires me on so many levels) – YOU. Redefine womanhood on your terms.

So, what does it mean to be a woman? For me, it means loving and embracing every part of you – your past and present, the inward and outward, the small successes and mistakes – and using that to recreate the WOMAN you want to be – not for any standard, not for anyone else, for YOU.