If I was “The Man”: What It Means to be a Woman Today

Hey, there, it’s me, ‘A’. Yes, the same ‘A’ from It’s/Eats OA, the woman behind ‘O‘ and one of the women of Northcon.👸🏻

By now, you’ve already been made aware (through our Facebook page and previous posts by Liezl and Rae) that to celebrate International Women’s Month, Northcon shines the spotlight on us, the Women of Northcon.

But first, let’s arte.

When Macky came to us with the idea about featuring the Women of Northcon to celebrate International Women’s Month, I got super excited because that means putting on makeup, doing a photoshoot and just having fun with my people!

I absolutely love getting my glam done by Paolo! For me, he truly is the best makeup artist in Baguio. I’ve had other makeup artists do my makeup and most of time, they make me look older than I actually am or they use makeup that irritates my skin and makes me break out and there was that one time I looked like I was in drag – which was beautiful too, but not how I prefer my face to be done. I like how Paolo highlights my already-there features so that I look like a better version of myself. I can go on and on but just let his portfolio speak for itself, check him out on Instagram.

Ben was our photographer for this project, we love Ben and he has been one of our resident photographers for Northcon because he always takes amazing photos, even though it can be quite challenging to photograph someone as awkward as me.😅

Thank you to Hotel Supreme for accommodating us and allowing us to take photos everywhere in the hotel.

I said I love doing photoshoots but that doesn’t mean I’m a good subject. I cannot pose or awra to save my life.😂 My photos came out absolutely amazing but that’s just because my makeup was on point and Macky was there to direct me. Some of my photos looked good because of the lighting but I didn’t like how I contorted my face. I looked crazy and that’s completely on me, I’m the problem.😂

It’s time to show some depth

This project wasn’t about just doing glam and taking photos. Macky wanted us to answer a question that I first thought was easy to answer but upon further reflection, I found it so hard to answer.

What does it mean to be a woman?

We’ll get back to that question in a bit but first let me reflect on what it’s been like being a woman for me, so far…

Being a woman is complicated. It can be easy but also so very difficult at times.

It’s like getting out of a traffic ticket because you’re a woman, however on the other hand, because you’re a woman, you’re automatically perceived as a bad driver.

I absolutely hate it when we encounter a not so good driver on the road and then it turns out to be a woman and ‘O’ says, “ahh, babae kasi” (ahh, it’s a woman), and I go on the defense and say that not all women drivers are bad drivers – because I’m a woman and I’m a damn good driver.😤

Granted, I’m not as good a driver as ‘O’ and I don’t have as much experience in driving as he does (I love being a passenger Queen) but I’m definitely a better driver than some men out there who are nuisances on the road!😄

Also, I drive a manual!!!

I hate being underestimated as a driver but I’ve also taken advantage of the fact that I’m a woman to get out of a traffic violation.😅

If I were a man…

👨🏻 Someone once said that I only became successful in blogging because of my husband, ‘O’, and to that I was like, “B*tch, please, I was already someone in the blogosphere before he even started blogging!”. But because I’m a woman, I couldn’t have possibly done it by myself.🙄

👨🏻 Recently, someone commented on my weight, like I looked a tad heavier than how I usually am. I’ve always been slim but I recently contracted a thyroid complication and the obvious symptoms for me are weight loss and weight gain, it just fluctuates along with the hormones, so a year ago, I was scary skinny, this year, I’ve gained weight.

Too much weight for some people apparently.🙄

But it’s fine, really, I don’t really care much about my physical appearance, as long as I can look at myself in the mirror and think I’m pretty, I don’t really care what other people think.😅

What bothered me was the fact that if ‘O’ gains weight no one bats an eye. It’s just funny or somehow it makes him hotter, more endearing/charming in fact, because of his ‘Dad Bod’ – that apparently people are into these days; but I gain a wee bit of weight, not even that much and people are quick to comment that I’m either pregnant or I’ve let myself go.🙄 Like it couldn’t be a medical condition? Seriously.

Anyway…

The double standards are crazy but when you actually think about it, men and women aren’t equal. Hear me out before you react negatively.😅 Think about it… One gender is not superior to the other. One cannot exist without the other. There are certain things that men can do that we just can’t.

Like: Men can’t get pregnant and give birth to children and 10 Women can’t pee on one toilet bowl at the same time, men can.😂

In as much as the men can get on our nerves and we love to contradict them, just cause 😅, women will not thrive without the men.

You know what, ‘O’ actually expressed it better than I can, shameful because I’m the woman, I know, but what can I say, I can clean the house like no one’s business and he can write way better than me.😅 You can read his post here: Whoa man!

So, what does it mean to be a woman?

This is such a loaded question. Physiologically, to be a woman means to be able to bear and birth children. But being a woman is so much more than just that.

When I think about what it means to be a woman, I think back to America Ferrera’s character Gloria and her monologue from the 2023 Barbie movie. So, brace yourself, because you know what, let’s break it down, but only the parts I feel I can relate to on some level.😄

It is literally impossible to be a woman. You are so beautiful, and so smart, and it kills me that you don’t think you’re good enough. Like, we have to always be extraordinary, but somehow we’re always doing it wrong.

There are so many days when I feel so inadequate and I’d have to hear from my 5 year old how beautiful she thinks I am and how smart I am because ‘I know things’ and then the guilt sets in because then I should have known better than a 5 year old! And I think I should be a better role model for her. I’m too hard on myself sometimes and then I end up feeling so foolish later on because I literally stressed myself out – over nothing.😅

You have to be thin, but not too thin. And you can never say you want to be thin. You have to say you want to be healthy, but also you have to be thin.

This has to change, our weight should never even be a thing that’s discussed, unless we want to.

You have to have money, but you can’t ask for money because that’s crass.

Remember in the old days when men worked and all women had to do was stay at home and just waited for the men to hand them their check every month? I want that.😂 I’m so damn tired of the hustle. I want to stay at home (I do already but you know, not working 😅), pretend clean the house, watch Netflix all day take care of the kids and just live my best life. Is that so hard to ask for?😂 Some women want to work and you know what good for them, they should if they want to. But not me. I just want to be a Stepford Wife.👸🏻

You’re supposed to love being a mother, but don’t talk about your kids all the damn time.

I understand that talking about your kids all the time can be annoying, especially if you’re not a Mom. I’m guilty of talking about my kids too much but also, I’m known as the ‘Never Have Kids’ lady.😂 Not because I hate children but only because I think that parenting isn’t for everyone, because if it was, we’d be living in a Utopia and we don’t, so…🤷🏻‍♀️

You’re supposed to stay pretty for men, but not so pretty that you tempt them too much or that you threaten other women because you’re supposed to be a part of the sisterhood.

Now, this is so crazy. Personally, I want to do glam or take care of myself not for anyone else but because it makes me feel good about myself. It’s just a bonus when my husband notices.

There are women who are threatened by other women but I feel like it has more to do with whatever trauma they’re dealing with as opposed to a problem against the woman they feel threatened of.

But you know what, regardless of how we were brought up or what our experiences were, we should all strive to be like Tiana’s best friend, Charlotte La Bouff a.k.a. Lottie, now Lottie was a true girl’s girl.

You have to never get old, never be rude, never show off, never be selfish, never fall down, never fail, never show fear, never get out of line. It’s too hard! It’s too contradictory and nobody gives you a medal or says thank you! And it turns out in fact that not only are you doing everything wrong, but also everything is your fault.

A to the men. It’s just too hard to be a woman. You can’t even clearly define what a woman is without the risk of everyone cancelling you.😅 Which I feel is what will happen to me if I answered the question with the first thought that came to my mind.🙃

Just come to terms with the fact that everything is our fault, we can thank ‘Eve’ for that actually, it all began when she was tempted by the snake to eat the apple and then she had to get Adam to do the same. One can argue that Adam could’ve resisted harder, but you know what, this post is already too long.😅

You can read the entirety of Gloria’s powerful monologue here.

So, to be a woman means?

You know what, upon reflection, FOR ME, this is my opinion, not of Northcon, just me – being a woman is like being a part of a diverse club where everyone is still able to relate to each other even though we have our own unique experiences and stories to tell. Somehow it’s still all relatable.

It’s about dealing with all of society’s expectations of what a woman should be while also knowing which expectations are realistic and which ones are plain bull sh!t.

It’s being tough but empathetic at the same time. It’s about being able to make our voices heard without drowning out other people’s voices too. It’s about learning to love yourself despite your imperfections.

To be a woman means being adaptable.

And I thank you.😂

You’re still here? Awesome! Subscribe to my podcast with my husband, ‘O’: Ang OA! Podcast and follow me on Instagram.

Let me know you read this post by leaving a comment below, you’re ‘A’mazing!😉